One of my YaYa sisters sent a text yesterday stating she wanted to be like me when she grew up. Her compliment brightened my day and I found myself smiling as I hummed to a Casting Crowns song on CD. But then it occurred to me that perhaps I was enjoying the compliment a little too much. Could it be I was feeling a little proud about being an example to another person? And so began the banter between mind and spirit.
Mind – “A compliment is okay when I’m using talents and gifts inherently God-given.”
Spirit – “Wait, that sounds a bit pompous. How exactly is it you know first of all, He’s set those aside for you; and secondly, you’re using them correctly?”
In reality that’s not how it worked at all. Jesus didn’t sit me down me and said, “Ka, here’s the talent and gift list I’ve given you and here’s how I want you to use them.” Have you seen the movie, Major Payne? All I can think of is Damon Wayans line, “Tomorrow we’re gonna start the hard stuff, boys.” That line pretty much sums up what Jesus meant. It could have been easier if I’d cooperated but I’ve always had a twinge of “know better” which means my on-time departure stats are worse than the airlines.
Honestly, there isn’t a day that passes where it’s easy to fully accept what Paul meant when he talked about suffering as gain not loss. Discovery’s journey revealed my strengths and weaknesses, a little late for some decisions, but never too late for God to use. So as I reveled in the compliment, I realized it was more a testament to God’s work in me – a complement to what He is using me for. That’s what Paul meant in my opinion. Right now, I’m thankful instead of proud. Keeping it real keeps me humble. I somehow believe that was His intention all along.